Cheers to Conformity: The IPAs Everyone’s Raving About

Once upon a time, in a world before the Internet ruined everything, one could enjoy a pint of beer without the fanfare of Instagram, Twitter debates, or lists penned by begrudging writers such as myself. But lo and behold, the modern era has summoned me to list the IPAs, those hop-laden, bitter creations that are the darlings of hipsters everywhere. Ah, IPAs: the drink that’s as much a fashion statement as it is a beverage. As much as I’d rather wax poetic about the days of simple brews, my editor insists that this is what you, the discerning public, yearn for. So, without further ado, and with an inward sigh of regret, here are the ‘Best IPAs for Beginners’—apparently handpicked by brewers, most likely while wearing plaid and discussing vinyl records

1. Lawson’s Super Session #8

Starting this list off is Lawson’s Super Session #8. Ah yes, just what beginners need – an IPA with a number in its name that seems like a secret code. But don’t let the cryptic title scare you. It’s just an ale with a low ABV and an exotic fruity flavor that might, for a fleeting moment, make you forget you’re drinking bitter beer.

2. Fat Head Head Hunter

I present to you the Fat Head Head Hunter – an IPA so nice, they named it twice. I’d like to tell you that the double moniker signifies a doubly delightful taste, but alas, I cannot. It’s hoppy, bitter, and has a punch of citrus. So, if you fancy a ‘head’ on collision with flavor, this one’s for you.

3. Flyway Early Bird

And now, the Flyway Early Bird. Named presumably because only someone who woke up on the wrong side of the bed would think a bitter IPA is the best way to start the day. However, it’s comparatively lighter and more refreshing than many of its compatriots. Plus, it has a bird on the label, which is, I guess, charming.

4. Russian River Pliny the Elder

Ah, the ‘Pliny the Elder.’ Named after a Roman philosopher, this one’s a classic among the beer snobs. Despite its grandiose name, it’s simply another bitter, hopped-up brew. But who am I to deny you the experience of sounding cultured at your next party?

5. Bell’s Two Hearted Ale

Bell’s Two Hearted Ale, an IPA so charming it needs two hearts to bear its own magnificence. Described as ‘balanced and rich’, words that could be used to describe anything from a good diet to a bank account. But here we are, attributing them to a beer.

6. Old Nation M-43

Next up, the Old Nation M-43. It’s hazy, it’s juicy, and it’s named like a secret government project. Perfect for you IPA enthusiasts who love your drinks served with a side of pretension.

7. Zero Gravity Conehead

Zero Gravity Conehead is an alluringly named concoction that hails from Vermont. It’s light and citrusy, with a dash of wheat. Just what you need when you’re taking a break from your artisanal cheese and vinyl records.

8. Sierra Nevada Hazy Little Thing

Now, here’s a gem: Sierra Nevada’s Hazy Little Thing. A fairly accessible IPA with ‘hoppy’ tones. Remember when we used ‘hoppy’ to describe rabbits? Not beer? Those were simpler times.

9. Fourscore Brekkie Bowl

Fourscore Brekkie Bowl: named less like a beer, more like a breakfast at a hipster cafe. It’s citrusy and creamy, apparently, which is great if you like your beer to taste like a dessert.

10. Industrial Arts Wrench

And finally, we have Industrial Arts Wrench, because nothing quenches thirst like the name of a tool. This New York-based brew is a standout, just like that guy at the party who won’t shut up about his craft beer blog.

So, there you have it, your fully curated, editor-approved list of the best IPAs for beginners. Keep those beards waxed and flannels pressed as you venture into the world of craft beer. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to prepare for my next assignment – probably something like ‘Top 10 Vegan Tattoos.’

 

Reluctantly yours,

Hugo Lancaster